The Need to Celebrate Oneself

The Milestone

I recently hit 1,000 activities on Strava – 800 from running and the rest biking. My first instinct was to think huh, that’s cool and move on.

But then I stopped myself. This is a significant milestone, telling the story of my discipline and persistence with fitness over the years. Could it have come two years sooner if I’d stayed healthy? Of course. Yet here we are.

So I posted it on Instagram, the home of millennial highlight reels. Five years ago, I might have judged others for similar posts. I noticed the familiar dopamine hit from friends’ likes and messages.

This moment crystallized something that keeps surfacing in therapy and conversations with my wife: I need to do a better job of celebrating myself.

The Marathon Mindset

In my peak years of marathon training, my personality perfectly fit the demands required. I excel when my actions can be distilled toward a singular pursuit. The marathon demanded exactly that – showing up for training runs, eating right, sleeping enough. At times, every waking hour was optimized for that singular goal: chiseling away minutes in pursuit of the three-hour marathon, my ticket to the Olympics of civilian runners – the Boston Marathon.

The process had to be the reward. A good marathon time is anything but guaranteed. You get one, maybe two shots a year. On race day, it could rain or suddenly heat up. One pulled muscle, one stumble, one rolled ankle in those tens of thousands of steps could derail everything. Even perfect training offers no guarantees.

Even after good races, I was already thinking about the next training cycle, always moving toward the bigger goal. Fear kept me from celebrating – fear that savoring success would somehow curse my progress, that I’d lose my edge if I lost control.

My last five years of many injuries have changed my perspective. It’s completely unknown if I can stay healthy during the year. I haven’t had an injury-free year since 2019. Celebrating or not celebrating won’t change that reality.

So why stay tethered to that fear?

Finding My Voice

This can extends to my writing here. I don’t have a sizable audience. There’s pressure to write something original to stand out. But thoughts are rarely truly original – someone (likely many people) have had similar insights and put them to paper. Our reaches simply may not intersect.

I’m giving myself permission to write things that have been written a thousand times before, as long as they reflect my authentic experience and help me crystallize my understanding. Chances are, they’ll resonate with someone else too.

My Bengali upbringing plays a role here too. Modesty and duty were values that was emphasized in my household, whereas I see my American born peers embody confidence and optimism far more naturally. They seem to have this correct - celebration allows living in the moment and feeling our happiness, rather than waiting for a future state that’s never guaranteed.

Permission to Joy

The inevitable truth of adult life is that we will be tested. Sometimes it’s the same test we’ve faced a hundred times, wearing us down through repetition. Other times, it blindsides us in ways we couldn’t anticipate. The struggles are real, but that makes it even more crucial to feel the joys. We don’t have to hold back or wait.

We can’t afford to.

Celebrate yourself.